The Pain of Prop 8

With less than an hour until the polls close, I feel the need to blog about my vote in favor of Proposition 8. Please let me begin by saying that as a performer, I have many dear friends who are homosexual; some who have been married here in California or in other parts of the U.S. I love each and every one of them dearly and only hope that this blog does not cost me my friendship with any of them. I am also an active, faithful (or at least trying to be) member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. My parents and all church leaders have taught me to not hate anyone for their race, religious or political beliefs, socio-economic background, or sexual orientation. I have never been one to follow blindly. Even if the First Presidency of my church had not come out and asked California residents to vote in favor of this proposition, my vote would still have been "yes". Would anyone familiar with the church have expected anything less? We have always held that marriage is between men and women (even when polygamy was practiced it was the man being married to multiple women, not women to women, men to men, etc). Should members expect that they would disavow the Proclamation on the Family that was given within the last decade? For those who believe that President Monson and other general authorities are wrong, perhaps this is not the church for them. One of the major tenets of our faith is that we believe in a modern-day prophet who receives revelation for the church and will not be allowed to lead its members astray. The church has always been marriage and family oriented as any member of a Young Single Adult ward can attest. The Church has made great strides in the way local leadership deals with the painful issue of homosexuality.

Let me say that I have nothing but sympathy for those church members who find themselves struggling with this. I do not understand the origins or reasons behind homosexuality. If one is truly born with it, but it is not a "defect", how could a loving God allow a beloved child to struggle with desires that are counter to his eternal plan? This is a question I cannot answer, but a close friend struggling with this dichotomy once  said to me, "I don't know why the Lord has given me this challenge, but we have been told that we will not be tempted above that which we are able to bear." I would hope that any members struggling with SGA (same gender attraction) would know that the vast majority if not all of their ward members would greet and treat them with love and acceptance. I believe that the days are past when bishops would try to "change" these members by encouraging them to be married.

Now I write about the hurtfulness that I have seen this proposition cause. Those of us in support of traditional marriage have faced a fierce backlash. My dear roommate has lost close friends over her decision to follow the guidance of her church leaders and her own beliefs. She has been called a bigot and has come home devastated because she can't understand why this changes friendship. She is braver than I. I have kept my mouth shut around most of my more liberal, performing arts friends, because I want their friendship and I fear being blacklisted due to my religious/political beliefs. I do not shun friends for voting against Prop 8 even if they are fellow church members. Your vote and lifestyle do not matter to me. I offer my respect to all beliefs and religions even when it is popular to mock them (Scientology in particular) because I know members and respect them even if we disagree on fundamental values. Why can't this same tolerance and respect come from those in support of gay marriage? Many harsh criticisms have been directed towards our church. When these are directed at me personally I find it hard to not become upset. I make a concerted effort to be kind and loving to those around me, knowing that they could judge my church based on my actions alone and yet it seems that means nothing. If you are to demean my church please do not do so to my face. If you want to discuss doctrinal questions or disagreements in a respectful manner, I welcome such interactions. 

I don't want to take away any one's civil rights. In California domestic partnerships have the same rights as traditional marriages, just without the title. I have to run to a religion class, but regardless of the outcome of today's election, my testimony does not waver. I know that the gospel of Jesus Christ is true and was restored in this dispensation by the prophet Joseph Smith and that Thomas Monson guides and directs it today. I know that the family is essential to eternal progression and is meant to be between men and women. I have nothing but love and respect for all my fellow men and women. I only hope and pray that this love and respect will be reciprocated.